Foreign Perspectives

I’m sure you’ll all have gathered that this was a bit of a busy week!

Last Sunday we were doing quite nicely with our first couple of days of having the place to ourselves since sometime in July. Wendy had a bit of a rough night of it and after breakfast announced that we should maybe make our way to the clinic. That was at 10.23. Not in a rush or anything: loads of time to get shaved and all that. We were driving along at a nice pace ’til we passed Estagel (the little village next to us) when I started getting strangled and got told to call the clinic right away. As it turned out, that wouldn’t have been a great move and instead I went a whole lot faster (well, John, we now have proof that there aren’t any speed cameras along this bit of road!).

We pulled into the clinic car park just about 11am when she announced that her waters had broken. I thought that was an appropriate time & place to call the maternity folk. They’re not really geared up to people calling them from the car park so by the time they’d wandered down, Wendy had hobbled in and was almost at the stairs. Don’t know why, but we never did find out how to work the lift so she’d to head on up the stairs which is far from easy in her state.

We figured it was best not to “ring & wait” at the door of the maternity unit and headed straight for the “salles de naissance”. I’m sure that the Ulster Hospital would have been telling us that it was probably just a urinary infection as they did with James. No time for any messing around wiring her up as by then John was well on the way and we found out that our visit to the anaesthetist was a waste of time as things were too far on to do a spinal or epidural (they don’t do “gas & air” over here).

Anyway, cutting out the gory bits, John Philip Anthony Stewart made his appearance at 11:08. Yeah, it was that fast.

We did the checking in bit afterwards when the first “little” problem arose. Seems that thanks to my (soon to be former) accountant, I was the only one with any health insurance or at least the only one on the Carte Vitale (health card). So, they wanted me to go to health place and sort that first thing on Monday.

Monday, Orasanté (the health place for self-employed folk round here) said that they couldn’t cover her as the (soon to be former) accountant had registered the business on May 1st, not in February as he was told to do, and because Wendy had her “declaration of pregnancy” dated April 26, nothing doing. However, the CPAM would do it.

Off to the CPAM. No, you’re not covered. What about my e111? Off for behind the scenes discussions for 30 minutes. Nope, you need to get an e111 dating from before you are pregnant. Can’t. The UK only issues them from “today”. What about the european freedom of movement legislation which allows for pre-existing conditions? Off for another 30 minutes. We’ll have to refer it to our international people. Anyway, a very good opportunity to practice my French.

Walk out to find that by now the car had been towed as a 5 minute appointment had now run to over an hour and a half. The pile of bills for the (soon to be former) accountant is mounting up… so far EUR 50 not being paid for the registration which is wrong in every key aspect, EUR 100 for reconnection of the phones because he hadn’t done the registration on time and now EUR 130 to retrieve the car. That’s not even counting EUR 200 of lost bookings because we couldn’t accept the French equivalent of accomodation vouchers due to his mistakes in the registration and who knows how much for the week that the phones were disconnected.

Phone call… CPAM international. Yes, you are covered. By Orasanté. Doesn’t matter that the (soon to be former) accountant hadn’t registered you before April 26. You were pregnant before you got to France and covered for 42 days before the birth therefore it’s Orasanté’s problem. Nope, I don’t know what happens if you arrive pregnant and drop junior before 42 days elapse.

Tuesday went in attempting to retrieve the car which is far from simple as everyone “knows” that it’s in the place behind the train station. It’s not even close to the station.

Wednesday we finally managed to get Wendy and John home. Didn’t manage to register him though which was becoming a larger and larger problem (you “must” do it within three days of the birth in France and by now we were on the fourth day). The place was closed by the time we got there so we finally managed to get the registration done it was day five (ie Thursday). We’d quite an argument when we left the clinic without paying. All maternity cases are paid 100% in France and the admin people in the clinic know that but simply won’t accept it without having an “attestation” to that effect. Attestations take at least 2 weeks to produce yet they wanted it that day (and they know that they can’t be had in less than 2 weeks). This was the best opportunity yet that I’ve had to practice arguing in French. You just can’t put a price on lessons like that!

Had another go at the health registration on Thursday with John’s paperwork. Seems that the attestation will be here in a few days because we applied for it about two weeks ago. However, it won’t list Wendy as being 100% cover as they said on Monday that they (Orasanté) weren’t the place to cover us (see above).

Anyway, more anon on the above saga as we’ve to call into the clinic on Monday…

There’s a big photojournalism and photoreportage festival on in Perpignan up to the 12th of September so just about every hotel in the place is full of Reuters, BBC, etc. We’ve started to fill up ourselves as a consequence of that (we’d have been full except that we only really got onto the booking systems during July). For next year, we’re planning on running a package deal for the thing but at the moment we have the usual problem that we don’t know why people are here ’til they come. Anyway, we’re currently ferrying two guys from the Times of India (one of the world’s largest circulation English papers) back & forth, we’d one of the award winners in a few days ago and there’s a few more groups coming over the rest of the week.

Remember the saga of getting a British passport for James? Actually, quite laugably, he can get one from Paris no problem. Well, I need somebody to sign the forms to say that the photo is a “true and fair likeness” but that’s the only problem. We start John’s saga here…. fired off an e-mail to the embassy in Paris a while back who said that I need to check with the Home Office how I go about proving paternity as per the new immigration & nationality legislation; they promptly referred me back to Paris, who, of course, have jursdiction. Another e-mail early in the week came back to say that he isn’t British and needs to be “registered” first. Nope, ’tain’t right as the new (as of 2002) legislation (very, very specifically the Nationality, Immigration and Asylum Act 2002 part 1 section 50 9(C)). They’ve not replied yet.

Oh…. could someone check if any of our Foreign Office colleagues know someone in the Paris embassy who could speed this along a bit for me? We’re hoping to get a little holiday soon-ish and would be needing a passport for him.

American Express are weird. Just before we left I thought that it would be a good time to finally get around to applying for one as I figured that if need be I could just transfer the account over here (although in practice it looks like hardly anyone takes it here). I fired off the application for their blue card (I’m too stingy to pay the money for their charge cards) and it came back “no”. Never thought any more about it until I got the maildrop from William at the end of July when I found buried in that a “60 second” application for their gold card which was addressed to me at my parents address (which I’ve not been living in for years now). Well, less than 60 seconds later, I’d filled it in for the laugh and off it went. Just got the latest maildrop of credit cards that I’ve not gotten around to changing the address of and what should I find but my brand new gold American Express card! So you apply filling in your proper address and they don’t give you it. You fill in an address from years ago and they send you an even better card. Weird. Still not very useful in France but it does look very pretty as the whole card is a gold hologram. Oh, and I’ve even got a free sportsbag for applying too!

I think that it’s safe to say that next week is very unlikely to be as eventful as this one!

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