Foreign Perspectives

If the visa application form is anything to go by, proving that you’re in a relationship gets harder the longer you’ve been together! That said, once you’ve proved it, the visa itself is issued really quickly (normally in less than six months).

Central to the application from this point is a statement from each of you about your relationship, starting from the point when you first met and, crucially, going right up to the day before you submit the application. These two documents will form the structure around which you’ll be building the evidence that you’re actually a couple. In the next stage, you move on to evidence about specific aspects of your relationship in terms of your finances, how you run your household, social aspects, and, of course commitment to each other but the relationship histories underpin all these. And, yes, there’s a lot of duplication.

Obviously it’s going to be longer if you’ve been together longer so allow a fair bit of time for both of you to write it! It is two statements although obviously they need to be in agreement with each other: for example, if one says you met in Paris and the other in New York, that’s going to be a problem. They also need to be in agreement with reality because you’re going to get interviewed about them as are the witnesses to your relationship that you’ve used (more on that later).

We’ve both started on our statements and it’s surprising how different they are because one’s written from a male perspective whilst the other’s written from a female perspective. They’re not inconsistent, but they are different and that’s to be expected, so don’t worry about it.

You start off from the point when you first met. Don’t get too hung up on that though. If you met via a friendship group and barely noticed your future significant other initially you could count that as the first meeting or equally it could be at the point of your first date. They’re not going to insist on the relationship starting when you swiped on him/her but rather at the point where it’s starting to become a relationship (however you defined that with the benefit of hindsight).

What’s important is what comes next so the various significant events and how the relationship developed over time. So you’ll be wanting to include first kiss, first intimate moments, moving in, getting engaged, married, first child, etc. Don’t forget consistency between the two accounts. Exact dates aren’t that important e.g. if you met in June, you don’t need to have the exact date, and if you’ve been together for years chances are that you will have forgotten the exact date.

They’ll particularly want to have details about time that you’ve spent apart. That doesn’t mean for a few hours but rather weeks so, if they’ve gone on a long holiday without you, they will want to know about that and moreover they’ll want to know how you kept in contact when you were apart. There’s more in the evidence section coming later, but they suggest phone records although many people just don’t have those these days and indeed you’ll see on the official guidance a lot of things are suggested which don’t seem to exist e.g. evidence of living arrangements comes to mind here.

Although there’s specific evidence sections later, it’s useful to build up evidence as you go through your relationship histories and they will prompt things to you as well. For example, if you went on holiday to Australia, they’re going to like some evidence about that like a plane ticket, photos, etc. As it happens one of the very earliest pieces of evidence we have is a photo of us on the top of Sydney Harbour bridge which is perfect in that it both places us together and it identifies where we were. That’s the kind of evidence you should be keeping an eye out for.

On the evidence front, it’s useful to create a folder for it and to quote a reference to each specific piece of evidence so, for example, that photo in Sydney is 2000-12 Sydney in the folder and when I’m referring to it in the relationship history. Save everything because even if it’s not useful right now, you might find you need it later e.g. we have accommodation vouchers which only name me which doesn’t seem useful as evidence at the moment, but who knows later?

Two things to bear in mind if you’ve been together for decades as we have is that there is a limit of, currently, 60 documents and that no document can be more than, currently, 5MB in size. This means that it’s useful to combine documents in one so, for example, we’ll be appending the four evidence headings after our relationship history but we have also had to shrink all of the photos to get them in one document under that 5MB limit.

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